my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you never un-have a 4some
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
