We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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