I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
