my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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