do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
