She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
