i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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