He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
