I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just invented taco cereal.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
