I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
