maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
