girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
