i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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