No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
