oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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