Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
