Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
