just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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