Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
