I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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