I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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