if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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