If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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