I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
