Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We have so much sex to catch up on
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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