I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
