He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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