oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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