Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
