I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize