someone threw a dead crab at me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
