I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
