who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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