All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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