I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
