I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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