You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
