Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
