I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
