its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
