My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize