she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
