he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
