Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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