I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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