I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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