addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
