Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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