In the future we'll all be gay
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
