man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
