I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
