do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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