I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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