Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
