she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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