Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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