you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
