i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
